It's a bad day, but not a bad life.

I can't stress enough how much I miss sleeping in, enjoying the simple things like long showers and not having to share meals. Boy did I take all those things for granted when I was younger.

I feel like I am always taking care of everyone, but who takes care of me? I am exhausted to the brink of insanity. My patience is running low because my body seriously has been running on fumes for Lord knows how long. 

It must be a mom thing...I swear it has to be. No matter how much help I receive I still feel like I have to go over things myself one more time because no one will care for my babies like I do. Why do I stress myself like this? No one means them any harm they are just trying to help. I'm not ungrateful or proud. Just struggling with the idea of my boys being in the care of others.

I constantly wonder. Did they eat? Are they sleeping? Were they cuddled to sleep like I do or left to cry? Were they yelled at? Left with a dirty diaper too long? Taken to the potty before bed? The list goes on, and don't get me started on how I wake up like 5,000 times a night to make sure they are breathing.

I met with my therapist yesterday and she assured me I am not crazy. Its part of being a mom. Moms take full responsibility (the good ones anyway), moms constantly worry, and I won't feel better until they are out of the house. However, she also said not really. Why? Well because then a list of new worries will come. Are they happy? Do they need help? Do their partners treat them right? Are they stable at their jobs? Are they being honest with me? 

I will enjoy long showers, sleeping in and not sharing meals though. So that's a plus! For now I just have to remember that the rough days are just that rough days, they don't define our life.

All my worrying and double checking...It's simply a mom thing!