My Sons.

I'll start by saying that I never wanted to be a mother to boys. I always thought raising girls would be easier and more fun. Always told myself if C ever walks out having girls won't be as hard because I'm a girl myself. Being a mom to boys now I couldn't picture this any other way. 

The bond I have with each of them is quite differently. Naturally, one is closer to me than the other, but I love them both the very same in different ways. 

My son Mason is my oldest. He's my two year old. He's much closer to his father than he is to me. However, our bond is still quite strong. Mason of course was my first step into motherhood. He came by surprise and changed my life forever. Everything I have ever done I have done it for him and his well being since the moment I learned I was expecting him. He has taught me unconditional love and more importantly that love at first sight does exist. 

Mothering my son Mason has always been a challenge. His birth was not what I picture it would be. I was so so naive and I had little to no support from those around me. Everything about being his mom went as other told me it should. Now that its his second year and I'm a mom to two mother him has become more independent. I don't take people's "advice" to heart anymore. I don't let anyone make me doubt if what I am doing with him is right. 

Logan being my second child has from day one been attached to me at the breast! Literally. He is less dependent on me or anyone, but if he needs some sort of comfort he wants his mommy. He has taught me all about second chances. From the moment I learned I was expecting him I told myself things this time would be different. It started my coming across Birth Without Fear. That page took me into wanting an unassisted home birth. I wanted to just be home with C and Mason to welcome the new member of our family. It didn't happen that way, but Logan taught me all about second chances. I got a more relaxed uninterrupted labor and birth. I was left to do my own thing by my OB. 

Mothering Logan has been a breeze. Having him has taken me to that place where I listen to my instincts and my instincts only. To the place where I thought I'd never be. I breastfed exclusively for 6 months...I really wanted a year or more, but I'll take what I can. I have explored baby wearing, different ways of birthing and even a new lifestyle. Without him I probably would have never discovered my passions and Perseud my true dreams. 

I don't have favorites, and I don't love one more than the other. I am simply closer to one than I am to the other and that's ok. That's how bonds work. My love for them both is beyond what my words can explain. They have each impacted me differently and taught me more than anyone ever could or will.