I couldn't even remember. At that moment I said, "I don't know. I don't even know what I'm into anymore." He offered the response of 2 and a half years ago. I immediately broke down in tears. He was absolutely right.
The last time I treated myself to anything without hesitation or guilt was before I had my first son. Maybe more time had passed. It could have been before I found out I was expecting in the first place. Since then everything has been about them and for them. I am a mother first and everything comes in secondary. But what about me, and the things I enjoy?
Change is much needed. First on the list is taking time for me. To do things I love to do. Read up on blogs I follow, books, walks, nails whatever it may be. The deal is I take a couple hours once a week for myself to be kid free. Doesn't make me a bad mother...it makes me human. Everyone needs a break from their job. I need a break from mine.
In order to keep my sanity while being home with my children; I must allow myself to find that peace before sanity goes out the window. Secondly, I have learned to be more independent. However, my level of independence doesn't satisfy me. I want more! I want to get up and go and not have to wait around for anyone.
So, although I have never in my 22 years of life been behind the wheel of a car...except maybe a power wheel or a bumper car. Lol I am determined to learn to drive and get my license before the end of 2013. I have finally gotten behind the wheel and I'm getting more comfortable.
It does help that my honey is the one teaching me the basics, and that he doesn't yell at me or make me feel stupid if I do something wrong. I trust him.
Its little big things like that that are helping me find myself again. Sure my main priority and concern are my boys, but I matter too. If I'm not healthy and happy...neither will they.
