Bedsharing Update.

Close to two ago we got the boys a bed for their room. Quite frankly we were all so ready to have our own space. The boys were doing great bedsharing with each other, but uncomfortable with us. They were waking up multiple times a night whining and our room would get so hot from all the body heat. Even with our thermostat set below 75 and a fan going we still woke up hot. 

They have been sleeping in their beds at bedtime and nap time since they first got it. We still lay with them until they fall asleep, but once they are asleep we leave. They are more than welcome to join us if they wake up in the middle of the night as long as it's after 3. If it's before then back in their bed they go. 

At first they would wake up around 5 looking for us and would climb in our bed. However, for the past I want to say 3/4 nights they have slept the entire night in their bed only coming into ours after the sun is up. Usually, it's 7:30-8. At that time they are ready to be up for good. My oldest knows how to put cartoons on so sometimes they just go into the living room and sit to watch a Wiggles DVD that they have. I swear I did not train them for this...they just are observant I guess. 

Because their bed is a full only one of us puts them to bed. We alternate. Daddy does 3 nights a week and I do 4. Basically, he does the nights I am at work and I do the nights that he's at work. It's just what works. Once the boys fall asleep we turn on their closet light as a night light (we haven't gotten around to buying one because my youngest like to stick things in the outlets). We close their door but not enough so that the youngest has trouble opening it of he ended to come find us. 

We are all less cranky in the morning and more rested. It's sad in a way that bedsharing for us has mostly come to an end, but as mentioned before we were all ready. 

As always thanks for reading, xoxo.

The End

A few months ago, maybe 2-3 months ago I wrote about how the time to no longer bedshare was coming close. We've been hesitant on this for awhile, but the past month has been difficult on us. We're not getting much sleep around here these days. It was time to stop...at least for the majority of the time. 

My heart is a little broken, and I will miss the cuddles so much. However, I am listening to what my children need. Of course they love bedsharing, but they have practically been begging for their own bed. Between Mason waking up whining about being touched, and Logan flipping upside down for comfort...it was just time. Not saying we won't ever share our bed again, but just not right now. 

I'm praying for a smooth transition and that it all works out for us. We all could use some extra zzz's.

The end is near.

No not the end of the world. Our family bed days are coming to an end. Not entirely, but for the most part. 

I'm finding myself having an issue with privacy. For the past 6 months we have been sharing a room and a bed with the boys. I miss having our own space even if it was during the early hours of the night. It didn't matter because it was time we spent in our bed whether we were intimate or not, but not having to whisper and use our phones for lighting. 

The little things mean the most to me. We love bedsharing. We love our family bed. We got a king for those reasons exactly. Our biggest issue? We were used to putting the boys to sleep in our bed then transferring them to their own beds in their own room. Around 2/3am some nights they would end up back in our beds mostly the baby, other nights they would not. It was hit or miss, but our family bed was not entirely theirs. 

I feel like they have taken over our space and its time we kick them out. I'm finding myself mourning for the nights I'll have to be tougher on them to stay on their beds at nights, but also for the nights I wont get to cuddle my babies through the night. I just don't always want to wake up children pulling my hair or screaming in my ear. I miss how it all used to be. Am I selfish? 

Maybe I am being a little superficial. Afterall, they are only this little once. They still need their mommy for a lot of things, but lately I feel as if I'm taking care of everyone except me. 

I still want to wake up to them some morning. We all sleep better if we're together specially if one of them is sick. However, I want to sleep in the arms of my beloved again. I have given my all to being the best mother I can be and I will never stop short of that, but a part of me belongs to the man I created my children with and for the past 6 months she hasnt  been here. 

With that said, I am anxiously looking forward to us being on our own again and getting the boys their own room. ❤️

Bedsharing.

Whether you call it bed-sharing, co-sleeping or sleep-sharing as parents I think we can all admit that we have done it. Whether accidentally or on purpose it has been done. Those nights when you're up feeding the baby or your child is sick and you're just too tired to get up another thousand times. Baby just seems to sleep better when he's with you. Actually, he does or so does a small research done by Dr. Sears shows he does. 

I'll start by saying we bed share because its what works for us. Its what we love and with me its an instinct thing. From the moment my babies were born it was instinct to sleep with them on our chest or in bed with us. We just all got more sleep that way. My first born's second night of life was horrific. I knew he was allergic to the formula the hospital was giving him and the nurses treated me like I didn't know a damn thing. Naive me didn't even consider nursing him, wish a had. Anyway, because he was allergic he was colicky and if anyone has ever had a colicky baby you know they will fall asleep then wake up screaming and scream for hours. The only time anyone slept that night was when he was in our arms or on our chest. I didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong, and that's how our bed-sharing journey began. 

Once I brought him home he slept in bed with me, and when his dad moved back in that we transitioned him into his crib (in our room) he still ended up in our bed in the middle of the night. At 7 months old he got his own room and that's how our current arrangement came into play. We would (well still do) lay in our bed with him until he's asleep, we move him to his bed and at some point in the night he ends up in our bed. Its usually mornings though, but he still climbs out of his bed and into ours. 

We bed-shared all through my second pregnancy. We bed-shared when he was hospitalized. Surprisingly, none of the doctors at the children's hospital looked down upon it. They actually encouraged it. However, their pedi is not a fan. She says I will regret it in the future when they are 10 and still wanting to sleep with us. To that I still say they will stop sleeping with us when they are ready. 

When my second was born we roomed in. He had a bassinet set up in our bedroom and our oldest still ended up on our bed every night. The baby wasn't a fussy baby, but some nights I would fall asleep nursing him or burping him and wake up a couple hours later with him on my chest or some how daddy had him. We do a lot of mom feeds and daddy puts to sleep when we can. :)

I cannot begin to tell you how many times the nurses barked at me to put baby back in the bassinet once we were done nursing at the hospital. How could I though? This child on his second night was nursing every 15-30 mins for 20-45 mins straight. I was none the less EXHAUSTED from my delivery, visitors and a baby that wanted to keep eating. Of course I was going to keep him in bed with me. Plus must I say I had the bed flat and the rails up. Can you blame me for wanting some sleep? 

Currently, the boys are put to sleep in our bed or on us by either of us, transferred to their room and around 4-7am the baby wakes up for a bottle and goes back down with us. Sometimes I wake up to get the baby and my first is already in our bed. If they are sick, there's no questioning that they are sleeping with us. We don't mind. We love it. Given that daddy rarely is home in their waking hours I'm sure the boys miss him. 

I know some people are probably shaking their heads. Saying things like, "but what about intimacy" or "they must have no sex or privacy". Let me just tell you if your bedroom is the only place you have sexy time you are not living life! I don't intend to make my parenting work for anyone that isn't my boys or honey. This is what works for us.

I've had numerous people talk down on our arrangement saying things like:

•you're spoiling them

•you'll ruin your relationship 

•they'll be dependent etc etc etc

For everyone's peace of mind my boys are loving, nurturing, independent little men at 2 years and 7 months old. I wouldn't want to raise them any other way! 

Ps. Do keep in mind that if you are under the influence of any substance or doubt your ability to react...do not bed share, as do we. If we've had as small as one drink the boys stay in their room. One slip up and they can be gone. 

Helpful Links:

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-/co-sleeping-yes-no-sometimes

http://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2011/11/17/cosleeping-fear-mongering-flawed-research-and-how-to-cosleep-safely/

http://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2012/12/06/siblings-cosleeping-and-bed-sharing-part-1-safety-and-advantages/

And this link that Birth Without Fear's blog lead me to: http://neuroanthropology.net/2008/12/21/cosleeping-and-biological-imperatives-why-human-babies-do-not-and-should-not-sleep-alone/