Brothers, Best Friends.

In the past week I have reflected so much on my life. I've been trying so hard to come up with something to blog about, and always came up blank. I wanted to update on my son Logan because I know a lot of you are wanting me to keep ya'll posted. Honestly, I am not ready to talk that through yet. I am battering a lot of inner demons in regards to his situation. Instead I am going to celebrate the give that is having my two boys.

Those boys as much as they disagree and fight over toys, love each other quadruple that. They are best friends. The best of brothers. Their love is so genuine and innocent. They disagree one minute and the next they are hugging. Watching them grow together is a delight. 

My oldest son Mason has a very protective bond with his brother. If his brother is having a hard time he tries soothing him. He will bring him all the toys from the toy box of that means his brother won't be sad anymore. He's the one that makes sure Logan has things before him. "I share brother mommy" he tells me sometimes when he has something. "Logan come too mommy" whenever we go somewhere. "I push Logy stroller mommy, I got him" is what he tells me when I take them both somewhere. He's a wonderful big brother!

My youngest son Logan has a more "look up to him" bond with his brother. He follows his brother around to see what he is up to. He thinks everything his brother does is the best thing EVER! He doesn't speak, and lately he prefers not to be bothered. However, on those days that he does want to interact with his brother it is so awesome to see how he just melts for him.

They have such a strong bond. From very early in y pregnancy I used to let Mason lay with my belly and tell him that was the baby. When they met for the first time he fell head of heels for "baby". They have always been inseparable. They sleep on the same bed because otherwise they would end up together anyway. Sometimes I walk in to check on them and they are huddled together. 

My wish for them is that they are always this way. I wish for them to always have this bond no matter where life takes them. I hope they always look out for one another, and can comfort each other in their times of need. I wish for them to at least go to each other if they don't feel comfortable with us. 

I get asked a lot if I want a girl. The answer is yes. I would have liked a daughter someday, but not to replace my sons. I wouldn't trade them for the world. Their bond has taught more in the 2 years I've been mothering both than any other person or thing could have taught me.

7 Years...

The past 7 years have been the most life altering years of my entire life. In that time I have grown into the person I am today. Although, I am still diligently working towards becoming the person I want to be. I am no longer as naive as I used to be. You came into my life at a very crucial time. I was 16. The guy I had put everything on the line for betrayed me. I no longer knew how to trust. I used to always pray that God would put the guy he had reserved for me in my path at the time I needed him most. 

I met you the night before I found everything out. I had no idea I'd see you again. When I did see you again and our eyes locked...something told me you were the one. You weren't my type of guy, but you were it. All along I had been looking in all the wrong places. Thank you for finding me! I love you for that. 

From the start we were not a very "normal" couple. What is normal anyway? You didn't ask me for my number. I stole yours from my brother's phone. You didn't ask me on a date or to be your girlfriend. You told me you cared about me and wanted to show me you were different. I appreciate how patiently you waited for me to be ready. I never accepted. I just changed my name on your phone and let you figure it out. Most shocking of all we waited an entire year before we became intimate with each other. NO guy has ever done that with me EVER!  

I've always wondered why even though it seems to others like we do things backwards its always felt so right. Kinda like how we can commit to joint bank accounts, but cant commit to marriage. Lol not that we don't want to be married, but people don't understand that. I was happy when we made it to a year, then 2 then 3. I remember our struggles trying to get pregnant. Today I understand why things have played out as they have. 

In the past year is when we've grown the most. Not only as parents, but as a couple and as individuals. We've figured out our dreams. We know what we aspire and have a plan as to how we will achieve our goals. We know how we want to live our lives and how badly we want to break lose of society's robotic lifestyle. 

Thank you for sticking with me for the past 7 years. For being there during every high and every low. I love you more than you realize! 

Learning.

My relationship with my other half has taught me more than I could ever really put into words. 

Being with him taught me not to judge a book by its cover. When I met him he was not my type at all. Normally, I wouldn't give a guy that wasn't my type the time of day, but he was different. I got to know the real him. Fell in love with his heart and personality before I became physically attracted to him.

With him I have learned about things like second chances and how first impressions are not always right. Prior to the time I've been in a relationship with him you could say I was...shallow! If my first impression of you was a bad one that was how I viewed you right off the bat. I didn't believe in second chances because I believed things like "if they do it once they'll do it again."

I have witnessed that people can change for the better. I've witnessed that in him. However, that person has to want change bad enough to actually make it happen. 

He has made me more open minded in every aspect of life. I was always one track minded. Basically, my way was the right way or you had to take the high way. I'm still learning, but these days I am more open to suggestions and not only listening, but also considering the opinions of others.

Most importantly, he taught me real love. The kind that makes you happy no matter what you're going through. The kind of love that lets you love past imperfections. 

Xoxo