For the record I believe my mother is a phenomenal mother and without all her love and care I would not be where I am today. She is very instinctual. She's one of those moms that will know something is wrong even if you smile. Its almost as if she's a mind reader. I am so comfortable around her. I look for her advice in every aspect of life. Becoming a mother gave me a new sense of respect an admiration for her.
However, our parenting styles differ a lot. She didn't do things like I do. We feel differently about things like breastfeeding and whether boys should cry or not. It seems silly, but the Spanish culture has this ridiculous belief that if a boy cries he is gay! From the moment a boy a born he is told crying is for girls. "Do not cry you look like a girl/you're not a girl." I happen to disagree. Having two boys of my own makes it very difficult. I belief that crying boy or girl is perfectly fine. Crying whether because you're happy, sad or mad is being in touch with your feelings and needs as a human being. Therefore, I DO NOT stop my boys from crying by telling them to shut up because they look like girls. I comfort them.
Yep I guess you can say I practice attached parenting. I didn't know anything about it until about 4 months ago when I actually researched it. I'm not anti-spanking or anti-anything really. I just follow my instincts as a mother. I listen to the inner me guiding me to what my sons may need from me. If they cry I pick them up I comfort them. I do not practice CIO (cry it out) method. It doesn't work for me. I am by no means perfect, but I try to not yell. I do not threaten or time out. I show my oldest (2) what consequences are. If he doesn't clean up his toys his toys go away. I try to negotiate with him though, and show him that mom isn't the bad guy.
I practice bed-sharing. When my first was born although he wasn't exclusively breastfed my instinct was to have him sleep with me. I never once worried about rolling over on him. My instincts since his birth are at an all time high and I am always alert when it comes to them. I check on them at least twice a night even now that they only end up in my bed in the middle of the night/early morning hours. Their father and I both love the bond bed-sharing creates. We love having our boys with us. Sorry but if your bed is the only place you get some booty...step out of the box! ;)
With my first I introduced solids at 3 months. I didn't know any better. I trusted the guidance of my mother. With my second I delayed them until 6 months. Breastfed until 4 almost 5 months, but really wanted to do 2 years. Now will you stop shaking your head! There's nothing wrong with that. Do some research. Weaning age is between 4 and 6 years of age. That theory that breast milk has to nutritional value after 6 months or 12 months however they put it...is bogus! There is no stopping age in my opinion as long as mom and baby are still comfortable. Even though he's on formula now, I really want to practice baby led weaning to introduce him to foods (link will be at the bottom).
I can't even begin to count the amount of times I have heard "when will that baby be off the boob", "when will he get real food", "if you keep letting him sleep on you he'll get spoiled." I kept doing what I was doing because it felt right. He's 6.5 months now and if it hadn't been because he stopped latching when his teeth started cutting through we would still be nursing. He was so great at it, and I had the utmost support from the ones who matter.
The point of this post is that even though I practiced AP from the get go I didn't always follow all of my instincts. Even when things felt off I just kept at it. :( I saw my second as an opportunity to do things my way differently. To look into different things that would work for me. I'm doing things better now because I am more informed and educated. I know better.
Not saying anyone who parents differently than me is wrong. Every parent does what works for them and their child. That won't always be the things others do. Maybe it will be a little from attached and a little from detached parenting. Do what feels right to you. Follow YOUR instincts!
Xoxo until next time!
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_parenting
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby-led_weaning
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