Reality.

It was a rough week, and this week will be another tough week. No I'm not declaring negativity upon my days already. I make the best of my days. By rough/tough I mean that my boys will again have to go 3-4 days without seeing their father. 

You're probably wondering why. Well, he has two jobs. On most days he's gone 18 hours out of the day! My boys are only able to hear his voice (if they aren't asleep) in a couple of phone calls a day. It's a shame, and it breaks my heart.

Not only does he have to go out and work two jobs nearly 80 hours a week so that we can afford to live, but I also have to work average 15-20hrs (if I'm lucky) a week, so that we can be good. For our wage, which is much higher than $8.00/hr we have to work like dogs to afford our lives. Maybe its true what they say. The more you make the more you spend. Really though? Are all the things we have not necessity? 

What if we want something? Are we supposed to work like dogs and not enjoy ourselves? Should we not be able to budget for entertainment? How do we keep ourselves sane? Our relationship alive? Create memories with our kids? 

My mom this weekend opened my eyes to a new perspective. What do we take to the tomb when we die? It won't be our bills or our lease. Its going to be our memories that don't change whether we're here or there. A meeting at work yesterday morning enlightened me. Its not all about money. Its about the right thing, and I shouldn't feel guilty for doing what feels like the right thing. 

The following article:{RAYCOMGROUP

raycomgroup.worldnow.com/story/22858558/mcdonalds-budget-advice-to-employees-shows-difficulty-of-fast-food-wages}, is something I came across. We're not the only ones in this situation. We're not the only ones having to penny pinch, yet barely making ends meet. The budget isn't realistic. Its an overview. Its not what its like, and its not what bills look like for a family who gets no state help or section 8. Our rent alone is $800. Even with adding $50 for heating that's bogus! Come live with me. In the winter months, at its lowest my gas bill has been $156.**. 

How about child care? Has anyone looked into what day care costs are? The cheapest I've ever found is $180 a week per child. How can parents work to afford living if they can't afford child care?  I know what you'll say. How about family members, or government programs? I've learned that people only help to convenience. I am grateful to have my sister around who is willing to watch my boys and help, but not everyone has it that way. Government programs like Care 4 Kids here in CT will only cover under certain circumstances. Its not that simple.

I just want to shine light into things people may not want speak on. We've all been in the situation where our rent is late, or the phone got shut off, or we got a shut off notice from the light company. Its reality! It happens. Its not all unicorns and roses out here. We all struggle to keep the roof we have over our heads.

I just wish it was different. I wish my family didn't have to be split up so we could afford living. We shouldn't have to afford it or not afford it. We should just be able to live life.