It became a MUST for things to be a certain way. In 2008 after I moved in with my boyfriend my anxiety was through the roof. So I was obviously obsessing over things a lot. It wasn't the simple dishes need to be done after dinner. It was more like the house has to be scrubbed after dinner or it would literally haunt me. My mind would race with the thought of all the possible germs crawling around. The bathroom was cleaned before each time I used it. Some nights it was 3am and I would be up turning the house upside down because I couldn't sleep.
Getting pregnant I thought maybe I'd relax a little because really? Who has time to clean up after their child 784627282 times a day?! Not me that's for sure. Boy was I wrong! It got so much worse. His things got sorted into even numbers. Odd numbers make me anxious. There was one bottle for each time of day, things got changed monthly. It was awful. I must say that with my second its a bit less tense, but the even number deal has not changed. Odd numbers like 1,3,5,7 scare me...I rather 2,4,6,8. I'm not sure why. However, my issue with numbers on the tv volume is different. I rather 10,15,20,25 than numbers in between. Its always been this way. I don't know why.
I didn't ever plan on bringing this up on here, but now I'm worried. My 2 year is displaying signs of anxiety and I think he may have some of the same issues. The worse part is he can't control his feelings as well as I can, and he is not able to express himself that well either. He does things like throw fits if things don't go back the same way as they were, and he will not move on to a task until his previous is completed to perfection. Granted this could be normal 2 year old behavior, but given my history I'm afraid for him and what he may have to face.
Either way his momma will be here to hold his hand through the way! Xoxo
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