Excuse My Mess!

Prior to having children I was extremely obsessive over my house being clean. I cleaned my house top to bottom every day all day over and over and over again. Everything from vaccuuming to wiping counters to rinsing the tub. Then I had my first child and went back to work. Not making the bed was ok. Not cleaning the bathroom everyday was ok. The trash being taken out every night was not an urgency. Taken care of my new baby was. 

When my son was almost 10 months old I found out I was expecting my second. As my pregnancy progressed getting things done became a nightmare. Laundry piled up. The rooms weren't vacuumed or mopped everyday. Not wiping counters was ok. I just wanted to be comfortable and spend time with my boy. When I brought my new baby home I had an 18 month old, an exclusively breastfed newborn and no help (until daddy came home from work)! It is an understatement to say that dishes piled up. The stove wasnt scrubbed every night anymore.

I want to clarify that it was not by choice. My anxiety on MOST days gets the best of me. Something in me screams perfection and if dishes are piled and floors are messy I want to rip my head off. It sucks. I become upset. It makes me want to throw everything in the trash, but I don't. I enjoy taking care of my family and as long as that is done I am happy. 

My family is my priority. To be honest when the time comes that my children are grown I won't really be wishing I had spent more time scrubbing floors or doing laundry and not making memories with my children. Cliche I know, but I'm serious I enjoy being their mom and caretaker. I sleep peacefully when they go to bed after a fun day even if the dishes from dinner are still in the sink. 

Just thoughts! Xoxo