Adapting

I can't say much now. However, we have made some decision for our family and as we all know things don't always go as planned. Things were planned out to happen differently and then our car broke down. I hoped and prayed it was an easy fix. I prayed so hard that we would be capable of fixing it and still pay our rent and bills. That wasn't the case. The car needed a new transmission and the costs of everything was a combination of our rent and bills. 

We thought long and hard about things. With no savings amounting up to what we needed to spend our decision was evident. We decided to move into a family member's home, turn our apartment in and fix our car. After all, we needed a car to go to work. Maybe there were different things that could have been done, but at that moment doing it that way was the right decision for us.

Going from having our own space to sharing another's comes with great difficulties. We now all sleep in one room and although we are proud bedsharers the boys enjoyed having their own space.    They are having a tough time with this. Adjusting to being under a different roof. Trying to understand that they are not visiting for a bit they are here to stay until we move on to the next step in our lives. 

I won't lie. My heart broke into millions of little pieces when I had to tell my 2 year old we weren't going home. That he needed to sleep at grandpa's because this is where we would be living now. How do you get such a young mind to understand such an adult thing? I know its all things that come with the territory, but I wish with all my might that it was easier on my boys. I wish I didnt have to take them out of their element to make bigger things happen for them. 

If one day they grow up and ask about this the one thing I want them to know is that I know it was hard to adjust, but We did everything in our power to make them comfortable, and I want them to keep in mind that on that day we made the decision that seemed most logical for our situation. We would never make a decision that directly affected them without first considering every aspect.

Adjusting has been hard. They wake up screaming in the middle of the night looking for us even when we are right there. One day all our hardships will be a thing of the past and they will have everything I've always pictured for their life.