Adapting

I can't say much now. However, we have made some decision for our family and as we all know things don't always go as planned. Things were planned out to happen differently and then our car broke down. I hoped and prayed it was an easy fix. I prayed so hard that we would be capable of fixing it and still pay our rent and bills. That wasn't the case. The car needed a new transmission and the costs of everything was a combination of our rent and bills. 

We thought long and hard about things. With no savings amounting up to what we needed to spend our decision was evident. We decided to move into a family member's home, turn our apartment in and fix our car. After all, we needed a car to go to work. Maybe there were different things that could have been done, but at that moment doing it that way was the right decision for us.

Going from having our own space to sharing another's comes with great difficulties. We now all sleep in one room and although we are proud bedsharers the boys enjoyed having their own space.    They are having a tough time with this. Adjusting to being under a different roof. Trying to understand that they are not visiting for a bit they are here to stay until we move on to the next step in our lives. 

I won't lie. My heart broke into millions of little pieces when I had to tell my 2 year old we weren't going home. That he needed to sleep at grandpa's because this is where we would be living now. How do you get such a young mind to understand such an adult thing? I know its all things that come with the territory, but I wish with all my might that it was easier on my boys. I wish I didnt have to take them out of their element to make bigger things happen for them. 

If one day they grow up and ask about this the one thing I want them to know is that I know it was hard to adjust, but We did everything in our power to make them comfortable, and I want them to keep in mind that on that day we made the decision that seemed most logical for our situation. We would never make a decision that directly affected them without first considering every aspect.

Adjusting has been hard. They wake up screaming in the middle of the night looking for us even when we are right there. One day all our hardships will be a thing of the past and they will have everything I've always pictured for their life. 

Taking Care of Your Relationship.

Parenthood comes with lots of sacrifices and adjustments. Not sure about you, but with me parenthood came with the sacrifice of sleep, every dime must be worked around the needs of my children and things that directly affect them. In the most of all that I have a relationship I cannot neglect. 

See, when I discovered I was expecting my main concern was how my children would affect our relationship. Would our communication go down hill. Would our financial status get the best of us? Would the lack of time together drive us to the brink of a break up? I didnt obsess about it, but it was something that was in te back of my mind. 

Last night my SO and I went on a date for the first time in I don't remember how many months. That makes me sad in a way. I know I am not alone, but I begin to wonder how there are mothers going out 1-3 times a week. My life is work, home, kids and back at it the next day. That's when sacrifices come in. 

Because my boys' father and I have no help what so ever from any outside source our work schedules work around each other. That means we both are never at home on the same day for long. Never with enough time to get away...not that anyone would be willing to take the boys for us anyway. There's always an excuse from family. There's no grandma that offers to help us. There's no sitter we can trust enough to pay her for a couple hours because our first and last experience didn't go so well, so what do we do? 

We sacrifice our sleep! When our boys are down for bed we spend every last waking minute together until our eyes give out. We try to keep it all alive with texting each other cute little things or doing nice things for one another. My favorite is letting the other sleep a few extra hours and I know he would agree. On the off chance that my brother or his is willing to watch the boys we go to dinner or a movie, and sometimes we're even willing to sit in the car at a park for no reason but just to enjoy the quiet time.   

Keeping our communication is so crucial. Its how we take care of our relationship. If something makes one of us uncomfrotable or hurts us whatever it may be; it is so important to speak up. We will sometimes start talking about nothing in particular and thats how we allow each other to speak up on certain things. Parenthood doesn't have to doom your relationship as many put it out to be. You dont have to go out every week to make it special. It can be as simple as a movie and ice cream after the kids have gone to bed. 

Until next time! ❤️