Dating Your Spouse

A few months ago I posted about those questions my friend asked us. With that post I mentioned how I would like more time with my significant other. Since then we have come up with a system that works for us. It allows us to have us time without needing to leave the house specially since we don't have sitters lined up waiting to baby sit. 

He works 4 nights out of the week while I work 2 out of the 3 he doesn't. Here is what we do: whomever is home with the boys has them tucked in by the time the other gets home. This is usually easier for me to do since the earliest he's home is around midnight. Once the boys are asleep, the time between then and about 2am is us time. We have date night every night...our own way! Sure we're sacrificing sleep every night, but we do it to nurture our relationship. 

I cannot stress the importance of nurturing the relationship enough. If you do not take care of the foundation your walls will collapse. We've done everything from baking, to watching movies, drinks and long talks that take us to our early days. Those talks are always so nice because they remind me of the man I fell in love with. It helps me not to focus on the man I see today. Everyday I see the hardworking stressed out father who wants nothing more than to give his family the most. Our talks however, bring out the carefree 19 year old who wanted nothing more than to build our empire from scratch...not that I don't madly love both. 

Yesterday, I read an article about the reasons why you should have sex with your spouse everyday. Of course I was immediately skeptical. The truth of it was though that it was stressing how much you should nurture your relationship. We're not fairy tale perfect I don't think anyone is. We fall off the wagon, too. 

I leave you all who are tired and want to crash from your long days everyday with this. Even if it's 30 minutes a day spend that one on one. Invest in your relationships. Enjoy each other's company. If it wasn't for those moments we spend one on one...everything that has raised to break us would have broken us. 

Xoxo

7 Years...

The past 7 years have been the most life altering years of my entire life. In that time I have grown into the person I am today. Although, I am still diligently working towards becoming the person I want to be. I am no longer as naive as I used to be. You came into my life at a very crucial time. I was 16. The guy I had put everything on the line for betrayed me. I no longer knew how to trust. I used to always pray that God would put the guy he had reserved for me in my path at the time I needed him most. 

I met you the night before I found everything out. I had no idea I'd see you again. When I did see you again and our eyes locked...something told me you were the one. You weren't my type of guy, but you were it. All along I had been looking in all the wrong places. Thank you for finding me! I love you for that. 

From the start we were not a very "normal" couple. What is normal anyway? You didn't ask me for my number. I stole yours from my brother's phone. You didn't ask me on a date or to be your girlfriend. You told me you cared about me and wanted to show me you were different. I appreciate how patiently you waited for me to be ready. I never accepted. I just changed my name on your phone and let you figure it out. Most shocking of all we waited an entire year before we became intimate with each other. NO guy has ever done that with me EVER!  

I've always wondered why even though it seems to others like we do things backwards its always felt so right. Kinda like how we can commit to joint bank accounts, but cant commit to marriage. Lol not that we don't want to be married, but people don't understand that. I was happy when we made it to a year, then 2 then 3. I remember our struggles trying to get pregnant. Today I understand why things have played out as they have. 

In the past year is when we've grown the most. Not only as parents, but as a couple and as individuals. We've figured out our dreams. We know what we aspire and have a plan as to how we will achieve our goals. We know how we want to live our lives and how badly we want to break lose of society's robotic lifestyle. 

Thank you for sticking with me for the past 7 years. For being there during every high and every low. I love you more than you realize! 

What makes you happy?

Life often times gets crazy. Work, bills, school whatever it may be. Add kids to the mix and it just gets crazier. We tend to lose ourselves in it all. It can at times consume every bit of us. Where does that put our relationships? 

My friend asked us these three questions the other day: #1 What makes you happy personally? #2 What makes you happy in your relationship? #3 What more do you want right now that is hard to accomplish? I thought those were awesome. It definitely got us thinking. It gave us the time to reflect not only on ourselves, but also in our relationship. These were my answers: #1 Personally, being a mother to my boys makes me happy. For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a mom. If I did anything in life thats what I wanted to do. Also, the fact that although I may not think so, my journey does inspire people. #2 In our relationship, we are awesome together as parents. However, it is out bond and our connection to one another that makes me happy. He knows me better than anyone and has taken the time to figure every bit of me out. Still is. #3 It would make me happy to have more time with him. To have more one on one where its just us and we could connect like we did when we started. I miss having those moments where we would get lost in eachothers eyes. 

A lot of things came up that night. He said things I didn't know he felt and vice versa. It was a wonderful talk, and although we did get upset over some of the things that came up...at the end of it all we came back to those things that make us happy. We know what we want out of this and will fight for it. We've made progress lots of it! 

I leave you with this. Ask yourself those questions. Ask your partner those questions. Do ya'll know what you're aiming for? Are you on the same page? I feel that if you don't know what you want out of your relationship you have no business being in one. You're wasting precious time! Think about it.

Xoxo

The Man Beside Me

There's a saying that goes something like "behind every great man is a great woman" an vice versa. I strongly believe that it is not BEHIND, but BESIDE! 

I don't talk about my relationship a lot. I don't post about how "great" or "bad" he is on a regular. I really try to keep our relationship as private as possible. Sometimes though credit should be given where credit is due. 

The man by my side has been great. He's not perfect, but he tries. He loves his family without hesitation and works hard for us without complaint. He's been amazing about compromise when it comes to how we raise our boys, and has always tried things before critiquing them. 

He is my biggest fan! Even when the rest of the world doesnt support me hes right there rooting me on. He has embraced my vision as his own and works with me to get our family to that ultimate place. He has been nothing short of amazing about changing his eating habits and the way he disciplines for the sake of giving our children the best. 

The man beside me deserves a shout out for his greatness once in a while! ❤️

Taking Care of Your Relationship.

Parenthood comes with lots of sacrifices and adjustments. Not sure about you, but with me parenthood came with the sacrifice of sleep, every dime must be worked around the needs of my children and things that directly affect them. In the most of all that I have a relationship I cannot neglect. 

See, when I discovered I was expecting my main concern was how my children would affect our relationship. Would our communication go down hill. Would our financial status get the best of us? Would the lack of time together drive us to the brink of a break up? I didnt obsess about it, but it was something that was in te back of my mind. 

Last night my SO and I went on a date for the first time in I don't remember how many months. That makes me sad in a way. I know I am not alone, but I begin to wonder how there are mothers going out 1-3 times a week. My life is work, home, kids and back at it the next day. That's when sacrifices come in. 

Because my boys' father and I have no help what so ever from any outside source our work schedules work around each other. That means we both are never at home on the same day for long. Never with enough time to get away...not that anyone would be willing to take the boys for us anyway. There's always an excuse from family. There's no grandma that offers to help us. There's no sitter we can trust enough to pay her for a couple hours because our first and last experience didn't go so well, so what do we do? 

We sacrifice our sleep! When our boys are down for bed we spend every last waking minute together until our eyes give out. We try to keep it all alive with texting each other cute little things or doing nice things for one another. My favorite is letting the other sleep a few extra hours and I know he would agree. On the off chance that my brother or his is willing to watch the boys we go to dinner or a movie, and sometimes we're even willing to sit in the car at a park for no reason but just to enjoy the quiet time.   

Keeping our communication is so crucial. Its how we take care of our relationship. If something makes one of us uncomfrotable or hurts us whatever it may be; it is so important to speak up. We will sometimes start talking about nothing in particular and thats how we allow each other to speak up on certain things. Parenthood doesn't have to doom your relationship as many put it out to be. You dont have to go out every week to make it special. It can be as simple as a movie and ice cream after the kids have gone to bed. 

Until next time! ❤️

Learning.

My relationship with my other half has taught me more than I could ever really put into words. 

Being with him taught me not to judge a book by its cover. When I met him he was not my type at all. Normally, I wouldn't give a guy that wasn't my type the time of day, but he was different. I got to know the real him. Fell in love with his heart and personality before I became physically attracted to him.

With him I have learned about things like second chances and how first impressions are not always right. Prior to the time I've been in a relationship with him you could say I was...shallow! If my first impression of you was a bad one that was how I viewed you right off the bat. I didn't believe in second chances because I believed things like "if they do it once they'll do it again."

I have witnessed that people can change for the better. I've witnessed that in him. However, that person has to want change bad enough to actually make it happen. 

He has made me more open minded in every aspect of life. I was always one track minded. Basically, my way was the right way or you had to take the high way. I'm still learning, but these days I am more open to suggestions and not only listening, but also considering the opinions of others.

Most importantly, he taught me real love. The kind that makes you happy no matter what you're going through. The kind of love that lets you love past imperfections. 

Xoxo