I'm finding myself having an issue with privacy. For the past 6 months we have been sharing a room and a bed with the boys. I miss having our own space even if it was during the early hours of the night. It didn't matter because it was time we spent in our bed whether we were intimate or not, but not having to whisper and use our phones for lighting.
The little things mean the most to me. We love bedsharing. We love our family bed. We got a king for those reasons exactly. Our biggest issue? We were used to putting the boys to sleep in our bed then transferring them to their own beds in their own room. Around 2/3am some nights they would end up back in our beds mostly the baby, other nights they would not. It was hit or miss, but our family bed was not entirely theirs.
I feel like they have taken over our space and its time we kick them out. I'm finding myself mourning for the nights I'll have to be tougher on them to stay on their beds at nights, but also for the nights I wont get to cuddle my babies through the night. I just don't always want to wake up children pulling my hair or screaming in my ear. I miss how it all used to be. Am I selfish?
Maybe I am being a little superficial. Afterall, they are only this little once. They still need their mommy for a lot of things, but lately I feel as if I'm taking care of everyone except me.
I still want to wake up to them some morning. We all sleep better if we're together specially if one of them is sick. However, I want to sleep in the arms of my beloved again. I have given my all to being the best mother I can be and I will never stop short of that, but a part of me belongs to the man I created my children with and for the past 6 months she hasnt been here.
With that said, I am anxiously looking forward to us being on our own again and getting the boys their own room. ❤️
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