Being Present

Don't let my social media feeds fool you. I like probably a decent amount of parents, struggle with being present. Life is crazy. Life is busy. There is family, work, and day to day life. The other day I made a joke that I talk on the phone with Logan's providers more than I do my family. That is sad, but so true. I have limited time. When I am not running around from appointment to appointment ; I am at work. 

It is hard. The part of this all that seems to be forgotten is that I am not only mom to Logan...I also have Mason. I don't want Mason to grow up in his brother's shadow. I want him to be himself and be known for who he is. 

The picture above was taken by Mason this past week. At least once a day he asks for us to build that puzzle. He has built it about 10 different ways. I don't think he cares as much for the puzzle as he does for the one on one him and I get to spend. 

This boy is my sanity. I promised him to do more fun things with him. To dedicate more of my time to him. He deserves it. He is a trooper. He sometimes settles for us simply cuddling while he watches Nerflix. He is wonderful.

The point of my words is that as parents we tend to worry about spending loads of money on our children. Making sure they have the hippest clothes, and the best shoes. Spending money on useless toys that they get bored of in 2.5 seconds when that's not what matters to them at all. If I think back to growing up I do not think of how I didn't have $200 shoes or how I wore clothes from Walmart. I think to how much time was spent as a family. How often did we have family dinners or watch movies. Was I able to openly speak to my parents?

Kids won't remember how much you spent on them. Kids will remember how much you spent with them. Let's be present in our children's lives. Let's give them a good example to follow. 

"Children are great imitators. Give them something good to imitate."

Edible Homemade Finger Paint (3 Simple Ingredients)

Hi guys!

Yesterday was my son's second birthday.  I wanted to go to the park and have a picnic lunch with him, but it has been raining and icky for the past couple of days. We played inside instead. 

Since it was his birthday I wanted to do something fun. I thought as a way to celebrate it would be nice to let the boys do something that didn't exactly get done regularly. I've been trying to get more crafty. The hard part about that is that Logan chews and eats things that are not food. Some examples are things like paper and crayons, and he chews on just about anything. 

For awhile I have seen numerous articles on homemade art supplies, like fingerpaint and play dough. I haven't tried doing those yet because again Logan eats things and I was afraid. That's how I came about homemade edible paint. Of course I googled it. Most articles and recipes called for cornstarch. I don't have any, so I googled it without and came across one done woth flour. 

All you need is:

-1 cup water

-1 cup all purpose flour

-food coloring

The kids loved it. It was very easy to work with and less watery than non-edible fingerpaint. It flowed nicely on the paper. When Logan tried kicking it I didn't have to worry that he would get sick or something, and it was a very easy clean up. The only thing I would do differently would be clothes. I would say that if you don't have a smock of some sort then it's best to let your child do it in a diaper or clothes that aren't supposed to stay clean. Logan got a bunch on his pants and it's been hard to clean off. The floor was easy, but the clothes...not so much.

Below are some of our pictures from yesterday. The paint does not crumble off the paper and it took about 20 or so minutes to dry. 

Below is the link where I originally got the recipe from. She has also added her own thoughts on her mixture. 

http://mamaot.com/2013/04/14/homemade-edible-finger-paint-no-cornstarch-needed/

Celebrating My Children (Week 12)

Hellooooo everyone! This is my final week of this weekly series. I've decided to give the series a rest (for now). I want to pick it back up sometime, but I'm just not sure when to do so. In the meantime, there's tons of things that will be happening around here this year. I'll leave it at that because that's a matter for another post. 

This week I want to celebrate what these boys are together. There are not enough words to describe how wonderful Mason is with his brother. These days it's quite hard for Logan to interact with his brother. Some days they play together and others Logan is so withdrawn that it's almost as if Mason isn't even here. However, Mason has never given up. He always tries to engage his brother. What makes me the most proud is that I don't have to ask Mason to do these things. He just takes it upon himself to not leave him out of things. 

Earlier this week while Logan was having OT at home, I chose to do some coloring with Mason. Out of nowhere he tells me, "mommy let's make Valentine cards." I had no idea he knew what Valentine was. He chose to make card for daddy, his cousin Jacob, and himself. Lol! He even attempted to write Jacob's name and his own. Is my 3 year old the only one in learning how to write? Or am I having a hard time admitting that he is growing up?

Logan had a really big week this week. I say big because even the smallest of things he does are a big deal to us. HE ATE APPLESAUCE! He whined and cringed, but he swallowed the applesauce. His speech therapist who also does feeding for him has been working with him trying to get him to eat it for nearly two months now. He ate an entire snack cup of it. We are so proud of him. He didn't eat it again when I offered it at lunch and he screamed when I offered it at lunch yesterday. However, I'm taking it as he just didn't want any at that moment and will keep offering it. We're doing baby steps. 

What kind of awesome things did your little ones do this week?

Celebrating My Children (Week 10 & 11)

The holidays have come and gone. Our tree is down and decorations are stored away until next year. Life is returning to "our" sense of normal. Since this week is nearly over I'll do another weekly joined post. Next week will be the last week of this series. I haven't decided yet if I will continue it, if I will continue on a monthly basis to give myself more time to post on other topics or if I'll just stop completely. That's to be determined.

Mason has done some wonderful "big boy" things these past couple of weeks. I can't believe how big he is growing right in front of my eyes. It's like I blink and miss everything. He's so helpful to me with his brother. He comforts him when he's upset. It really is such a beautiful thing to watch. He's the most amazing kid I know. He's got this "I do it mommy" attitude, and it's so fun to watch.

He has been potty trained for nearly 2 and a half years. The only part of potty training that we have struggled with is using the potty at night. For as long as I can remember we have taken him 3-4 hours after he goes to bed to avoid accidents. The other night he got up before we could go take him. He went and used the potty, and when I heard him awake he was already on his way to going back to bed. We were so proud that he knew just what to do. We encouraged him to keep doing so. He hasn't done it again, but I have no doubts it will happen soon.

We are so proud of our Logy! He's made some progress the past few weeks. We're taking baby steps, but they are in the right direction. He's been echoing more words. He still doesn't speak so to say, but he repeats at times even if he doesn't know what it means. Around the times of New Year's Mase was snacking on carrots and to our surprise Logan picked two up and started sucking on them. While no actual bites were taken he allowed himself to touch and taste them. It was such a great thing, and a big deal! 

I started this series to focus on my children's positives and not so much on how difficult motherhood can be. It has helped get me through the bad days thinking of all the positives I will write about later. What kinds of things did you child/children get into these past few weeks? Until next week...✌️

Celebrating My Children (Week 8 & 9)

I'm seriously slacking on my blogging, but this time I have a legitimate explanation. My son lost my iPhone last weekend, and then it was Christmas. I really enjoyed spending time with my family since it was the FIRST Christmas we both had off. Thankfully, we found the phone. Lots of fun things have happened this past week and I am excited to share. Let's get right to it. 

I really could say a million things about Logan. There are good days and bad days. With him you just never really know what kind of day we will have. He spends most of his day stuck on the iPhone that he doesn't let go once he gets his hands on it, until it dies. At which point we hide it to try and engage him in other things. It's very hard. He's done well these past two weeks and we are starting to see some progress. At functions like speech therapy he doesn't quite behave like he does at home and vice versa. However, the week before Christmas I was baking cookies, and I asked him if he wanted cookies. He responded by saying "toot-tee", and just yesterday I finally heard him say what his speech therapist has been telling me he says. Car, moo, quack quack, and choo choo. Of course he doesn't say it like you and I would, but he does the approximation and that's good enough for us. If there is one thing I am learning on this journey it is that every little thing, big or small is celebrated. Some days the simple fact that he ate his meals without a meltdown is a reason to celebrate. Him letting us brush his teeth or attempting it on his own without a meltdown is a big deal. Baths without him screaming about water poured on him call for a round of applause. I'm so proud of him, and I'm his biggest fan.

I'll never get tired of commending Mason for how great he is. I hope he grows up to know he's appreciate. I could not survive life with out this beautiful souls. He means the absolute world to me for many reasons. A few weeks ago out of nowhere and without hesitation he asked for his hair short "like daddy." He said he didn't want it in his eyes anymore. While we had attempted haircuts before they had always been rough. Giving him the power of deciding proved to me that he will do things when he feels ready. Over Christmas he once again showed us how wonderful he is. I wasn't expecting Logan to be overwhelmed on Christmas morning, but Mason took it upon himself to open his brother's gifts for him. He showed every single one of them to him, and Logan smiled at his silly brother trying to make him laugh. It was such a magical moment. I couldn't have asked for a better kid. He's awesome!

Here's a picture from Christmas night when we went to see the lights. We had a great time. How are all your littles? Wishing you all a great holiday season! Xoxo

 

Cooking With Kids.

Mason and I have been struggling lately. We are having a hard time connecting. The kitchen is where we have the most fun. He likes to help. "Mommy we a team", he says to me every time we do something together. It's been close to a year since he started showing interest in the kitchen. 

At first I was hesitant to let him help. I was afraid of him getting burned or hurt. I knew there would be a mess and I was also afraid of that. He loves the kitchen and creating in it. I am no one to stand in the way of that. Since we settled into our own place I allow him to help more and more. A few weeks ago we made homemade chicken nuggets. Today we made pineapple upside down cake. 

Logan has a therapist that comes over twice a week. It is so tough to have to tell Mason he can't join in. He doesn't understand that his brother gets distracted easily. I need ways to distract him while the OT is here. The kitchen was great. Reading and coloring don't always work. He really enjoyed helping, and the cake turned out well. 

The point of cooking with him was to have him included in an activity where he's usually told no. It distracted him from not being able to join his brother, but also allowed him to do something HE enjoys. If you haven't noticed kids love playing "adults". This was Mason's time to play cook. 

I took the opportunity to also use this as a learning experience. In the process we counted the ingredients, said colors, and also taught him to recognize numbers. Cooking with kids can be fun after all. 

Celebrating my Children (Weeks 6 & 7)

I am so sorry that I didn't post week 6 this past Sunday. Life got super crazy overnight with the holidays fast approaching. I've been caught up running around everywhere, so I will combine the past two weeks.

Mister Mason has had an eventful couple of weeks. I want to praise him for never complaining when he is dragged along for all of his brother's appointments. He is the very best of the best. While there are no right words to really help him understand...I know some part of him does. I'll also congratulate him on losing his first tooth. Well...not really. He broke his tooth off. I won't go into details, but this little man was very brave. He didn't even flinch when I took him to the dentist after it all happened. How did I get so lucky? He is also super excited for Christmas, and helped Daddy pick out our tree. He helped me decorate it. I constantly hear him saying things like "Happy Christmas" or "Christmas is coming soon". That innocence is just so priceless. 

Mister Logan is just the cutest thing. He spent a week away from speech therapy over Thanksgiving. When he went back he had a rough time, but bounced right back. He's making lots of progress. Baby steps. Lots of them. I have recently heard him saying what sounds like "one, two, three". He's not quite saying the exact word, but you can hear the attempt at the sound. Then, today he was trying to sing "clean up, clean up". It is just the most adorable thing, and it makes my heart happy to see that someday I will hear "mommy" or "I love you". It may not be today or tomorrow, but I'll hear it. He's also getting very good with signing, so now we're trying to make him sign phrases like "more please". He's done that a couple of time. I'm excited for him and I'm excited to see progress. 

What have your littles been up to?

Having a Hard Time...Not Giving Me a Hard Time.

 

Image Credit: Google Images

If I were to tell you the overwhelming amount of times that I have received unsolicited parenting advice from strangers, we would be here all night long. It's true what they say. "If you have nothing nice to say...don't say anything at all." Sometimes these comments are well meaning, but they come out the wrong way. It is never a mother's intention to parade her cranky children around to run errands. Trust me when I say it is not.  We just have to do what we have to do. 

I didn't understand this until becoming a mother myself. I have written before (possibly) about how before I was a mom I used to say how that would never be me. In reference to the moms dealing with the toddler screaming at the grocery store because mom said no to candy or whatever the reason may be. I said my children would know better. Haha who was I kidding!? 

I have on more than one occasion been the mom whose child acted out in public. Had a tantrum or meltdown in the middle of grocery shopping. Your face turns red. People stare which makes it all worse. Anxiety creeps in and all you want to do is dart out of that door, but everything seems to be taking longer. If you're anything like me you fight the tears and the urge to give into to your child. Not because we don't discipline, but because it's all just too much. 

Our children don't necessiraly understand the concept of time. Their innocent little world falls apart when you tell them no. More times than none they don't mean to give you a hard time...they are just having a hard time. Because I like to relate my posts to real life I will tell you about times when I have been the mom with the screaming child. 

My sons are on a regular basis very well behaved. If they act out something is up. Tired and hungry are the biggest triggers.  This past Friday we went to buy some groceries and my son Mason was exhausted (he likes to wake up at the crack of dawn and not nap). In the middle of our shopping trip he started whining. No big deal most kids whine, but then he got louder and louder. He wasn't purposely wanting to give me a hard time . He was just done. 

While I do believe children push buttons to test boundaries as parents we know when our children do things on purpose. My son Logan being special needs (as most of you know) has a very hard time in loud crowded places, so he has meltdowns often. They happen in places like the grocery store a lot. He goes from happy to screaming within minutes sometimes seconds. I can't help to have to go grocery shopping, and I hate doing that to him. Others just need to grasp the concept that children at not robots. They are not to be bullied. They have feelings, and just like you and I have bad days... They do too. 

How do you handle your children's behavior? 

Celebrating My Children (Week 5)

Another week of this weekly celebration. I could get used to this, and I am actually enjoying doing it. This may just become permanant. As hard as the days may be, writing about the things that make my children wonderful helps put things into perspective. I am reminded to dig through all that I could complain about and instead smile about the great things. 

This week I want to celebrate them together. Usually, I write about them individually, but this week I want to write about how wonderful their bond is and in the ways it has made me smile this week.  My boys are best friends. I've written about that before. It is such a heart warming thing to witness. 

They are so close. Possibly because they're 18 months apart. For as long as I can remember Mason has embraced the big brother roll. Always always watching out for his brother. When Logan becomes overwhelmed there is Mason trying to make it all better. It's so cute. Recently, I have been spending a lot of time at home while dad is at work. Not sure how or where Mason has picked up the, "you be the mommy and I be the daddy and Logy our baby" when dad isn't home. He has no problem stepping up to help. He will help to take meals to the table when needed, he will throw diapers away for me, and has even put his brother to sleep. 

I am so grateful for them and the bond they share. I know they will always have each other no matter what. Just like my siblings and I have each other. We're not close in age and don't talk everyday, but when we do it's like we never stopped. 

Do your children have siblings or even cousins they are close to? 

Celebrating My Children (Week 4)

Writing this blog as my children attempt to make me lose my sh*t is probably the funniest thing to happen to me today. I want to pully hair out, but instead I am going to get past all the negatives I could be writing about, and celebrate the wonder that are my boys. I'll take a nap later...*yawn*...yes I really did yawn. ;)

This week I want to talk about Logan first. We have been working very hard to learn and teach him how to communicate with us. It is starting to show. He has done some awesome things this week, but two have really stuck to me. A couple of weeks back I was the boys' tickle monster. I would say "I'm gonna get ya", and then tickle them silly. I used it as a way for Logan to say he wanted more. He did great. He would sign more in that cute way he does, and say "mo". Well apparently he remember that very well because on multiple different occasions he has come up to me and signed/said more. When I ask him what he wants he wiggles his little fingers and starts his gibberish. That's his way of telling me he wants me to tickle him. It melts my heart. Another thing he did, and this was just over the weekend is pretend on a phone. He actually put the phone to his ear and said what sounded like hello. He would hand it to me, I would say "hello are you looking for Logan?, and hand it back. He takes the phone and says again what sounds like hello. This went on for about 2-3 minutes. While it may seem like not a big deal to some...for me it is. This is all from the child that spends a good 80% either isolated or screaming/crying because that's the only way he is able to express himself. To me it's a HUGE deal! 

Oh Mason! This boy is something else. He's always been rambunctious and such a character. These days I am not mommy. I am Captain Mommy! He says things like "ok captain mommy" or "you the best captain mommy forever." I love this boy. He has been asking us for a bike for so long. We didn't have funds to get him one for his birthday in June, and so we planned to have "Santa" bring him one. The other day we found one at a second hand store for less that what a new pair of shoes would cost and we decided to get it for him just because. He is the most grateful kid ever. He will over and over say "thank you mommy, thank you daddy. I love my bike." The best part of this all is that he learned to ride in a matter of a day. He conquered not knowing how to pedal or turn corners...all in a day. He's very proud of himself, and we are of him! 

What things did your littles get into this past week? 

Celebrating My Children (Week 3)

I thought this celebrating my children thing would be a breeze. Day in and day out I talk about how wonderful and sometimes frustrating it is to be the mother of my children. Truth is that it's not easy peasy. It can be challenging digging through all the things going on to focus on the positives. I'm am usually a very optimistic individual, but when you're in the eye of the storm life is overwhelming. However, today I am still able to dig out all those negatives that want to stick around and talk about the wonderful things that have happened with my boys this week. 

First off, we'll talk about Mason. He has been struggling with saying excuse me when he wants speak instead of butting in or tapping me endlessly saying "mommy mommy mommy." He's getting really good about excusing himself. He has even been saying when he walks into a room and wants to say something. It is such a wonderful thing to watch him grow like he is. 

How about this guy? He's showing so much improvement. It is baby steps and one day at a time. The little things matter most. This week I want to celebrate how well he has done in crowded public places. Because grandma visited we were out and about a lot. We went shopping and to eat and Logan made it through all of it. Logan did not meltdown with the crowds. He simply focused on one thing and it was almost as if he didn't notice the crowd. Now it may not always be that way, but even if it's only every once in a while...it's a huge deal. 

My kids are great. These blog posts are almost like mommy therapy for me. It's a way for me to focus on everything that's great and not so much on the things aren't. What things have your littles accomplished this week? 

Xoxo

Tantrums vs. Meltdowns

It may seem unbelievable, but there is a difference. My 3 year old has lots of tantrums. Rarely a meltdown, and it is vice versa with his brother. When either happens in public it is somehow an invitation for strangers to assume, and proceed to comment with whatever way they deem is necessary to "put my children in their place." I don't appreciate that. 

Last week, I was at Walmart (why does everything happen here?) with my boys. This particular Walmart had a McD's. I walked in to buy my youngest some nuggets and fries. Don't judge me! When he refuses to eat anything else, and melts down at the sight of everything you have offered you would resort to the thing you know he'll have. Anyway, he was hungry and my oldest needed to go potty urgently. The McD's cashier proceeded to reprimand my oldest son as if he was some sort of wild animal. My son didn't cry, but he looked at me for reassurance. The lady asked me what was wrong with him, and I told her we do not speak to our children in that way. We aim to be as gentle and respectful as possible. 

My son was only acting the way he was because he wasn't getting his way. Most children his age do that. They don't know what patience is, and telling them to wait is almost as bad as saying NO. Even if what they need or want is not urgent to them it is. To children his age saying, "could you please hold it until we finish here" is like saying, "we will let your bladder explode." I'm sure it feels that way too. 

A meltdown is so far from a tantrum. My son Logan has meltdowns often. For example, this morning he cries for a half hour over oatmeal he didn't want. All he did was taste and look at it. I offered him some and he lost it. He was so emotional! Face was so red, and eyes swollen. When it was all over he was exhausted and withdrawn. I tried calming him by talking to him, but he just sobbed more. That stranger is a meltdown. Do not look at us like my child walks all over me or like I don't discipline him. Sometimes things get to be too much for him. He doesn't know how to say "mom the crowd is overwhelming me." Instead he screams and cries until he is removed from the situation.

My point is do not comment on other people's children's behavior. You don't know what is really going on. Two minutes standing in line with them does not mean you have a clue. No one can possibly draw accurate conclusions based on what you see. Hold your comments, some of them are hurtful and insensitive. 

Celebrating My Children (Week 2)

Last week I decided that I would start a weekly blog series dedicated to celebrating my children. Things have been rough for us. Parenting is tough, but the purpose of this is to focus on the positives and not so much the negative. I'm not sure how long I'll run it for, but for now my goal is 3 months. 

I'll start with my beautiful son Mason. This boy has a heart of gold. He's like a grown up and a little boy all in one. He may watch documentaries about dinosaurs, mammals, and other creatures constantly, but he still likes to lay on my lap and have me sing him lullabies. He still enjoys climbing into our bed at the wee hours of the morning to snuggle. I love this child! This week he has been such an amazing help. He has helped me cook meals, and also bake some goodies. He has be reassuring me that I am the best mommy. He knows his mama needs to feel loved. His biggest accomplishment this week has been improving his behavior. He has been able to listen more, and say excuse when I am talking to someone. The biggest of all though has been his patience. He has endured tagging along to so many appointments for his brother, and has waited patiently. Well, as patient as a 3 year old gets, but he's done great! 

Oh my sweet sweet Logan, how I love him so. Though this week has been rough for us, we now have answers that I am not ready to speak about. However, Logan has now been doing speech therapy for a month and he's learning to communicate his needs without letting things get the best of him. He will on occasion sign more or hand us what he needs (like his sippy for a drink). He will also take my hand and guide me to where he wants to go. Someone suggested pictures of things to help him communicate with us. I think that would be great for him. On top of all his improvement with communication Logan actually had some meat this past week without fussing. He tried rib and steak and didn't even flinch. I am so excited for him. He is still mostly sticking to pbjs, but that is a huge deal that he was willing to try meat. 

What things did your littles accomplish this week? 

Xoxo

Celebrating My Children

Image from: Google

With all the chaos going on right now, and all the stress from everyday life it is very easy to forget to celebrate our children. I've decided to celebrate their weekly accomplishments, and blog about it. 

In the past couple of weeks we have had to deal with a lot. We are struggling to connect with our 3 year old. He doesn't quite understand that his brother is different. He struggles to make sense of it all, so our day is not complete without lots of screaming and crying. Sigh. That's not what this is all about though. I'm here to celebrate the great things that happened this past week for them. 

My son Mason (shy of 3 1/2) learned to write the letters O, H, T, A, I, L all on his own with only simple direction from me. While my heart and mind are still struggling between homeschool or not I still want to teach my boys as much as I possibly can at home, and at their own pace. My approach was going to be the connect the dots system that I learned from. However, my son learns differently, and that doesn't work for him. So I drew the letters for him on a paper and gave him directions like, "T is across then down" and guess what? My boy did it!  I wish I had pictures to share, but this mama bought color wonder markers and the wrong paper, so they're kind of invisible unless you can stare at the paper upfront. Sorry. :( 

My other son Logan (shy of 22 months, and non-verbal) has been going to speech therapy for nearly a month now...finally. We as a family, and with his amazing speech therapist decided that American Sign Language is a wonderful route to take for him. He uses his body to communicate, and he uses it well. The past couple of weeks we have been teaching him more, done, and eat. Very repetitive stuff. Over and over, all day long, but he finally signed to us. He has been doing done for a little over a week now, and yesterday he did more. His therapist has taught us techniques to teach him through play. Although the uncertainty of his development often breaks my heart into pieces. I am so proud of him. :)

Celebrating their accomplishments fills me with pride and joy. It helps me focus on all the good things in my life rather than all that is or could be going wrong. What are your little ones accomplishments? 

Xoxo

Not Today.

I don't want to be a mom today. I'm drained. Completely touched out. Between changes within our family and my youngest son surgery approaching I'm just spent. I could really use a break. My only outlet is work and that's not really a break is it?! 

I think every mom has been there. Had one of those days when you just don't want to hear the word mommy 575674 times in a half hour. That has been me this afternoon. I could really just use a time out. 

I love my boys with all of my heart, but when you're surrounded by tiny humans all day you can go a bit crazy. All day I'm singing ABCs, playing blocks, watching The Wiggles or coloring. 

Today I kinda miss the days of no responsibility. The days when we could lay in bed all day and sleep our day away. I kinda miss the carefree days, but those days are long gone. Those days can't possibly remotely compare to these days right now. They weren't as rewarding as my days are now. 

Back then I didn't get tiny hugs and kisses. I didn't get I love you's or thank you's for making a peanut butter and jelly with bananas on the side. Today I may be drained, but at the end of the day I live the way my life is now. Tomorrow is a brand new day. It will be filled with more tantrums, but also more hugs and kisses. 

Mom rant over. Xoxo

Sometimes.

I'll be the first to admit I'm not the mommy from the fairy tales and the movies. You know the mommy who is always put together and never loses her cool. Yeah...that's not me. 

I'll also be the first to admit that I tend to forget how little my boys really are. How much they truly still need me, and to enjoy every moment. Sometimes I get caught up in raising "good" children that I forget I already have them. 

A couple of weeks ago I found my camera. Due to the move I had misplaced it and thought it was lost. In it were picture and a video of the last month my 3 year old was an only child. He was 17 months old. I watched the video and couldn't contain the tears. I forgot he was that little at one point. 

I can watch that's video a million times over. Sometimes I really think I should. Those times when he makes me want to pull my hair out of my head one by one; the video reminds me that this too shall pass and I should enjoy it. One day I won't have him trying to steal my phone or asking me 2500 questions in one hour. 

The same goes for my 18 month old. Parenting him has been life changing. These days it is really hard for me to get any me time unless I sneak away. He's very attached. Days like today I want mommy time out. I want to throw the towel in. I want to scream I QUIT! Then I remember that video of his brother. One day he won't want my hugs. He will wipe away my kisses. One day another woman will be his entire world. 

What I'm trying to say is let's slow down. Let's enjoy the little things. Like the toys you bump into in the middle of the night, the crying spells, and the little feet that kick you in the middle of the night because one day...one day you're going to wish they were there. 

Xoxo

You're Not Alone

As moms we have at some point felt like we're the only ones having a tough day. We may feel like everyone else is having a ball and you're the mom stuck with the 3 year old throwing tantrums and the 1 year old screaming because he is overwhelmed by the department store. I speak from experience. 

Because I work at BRU I often interact with a lot of moms with young children. I often am able to observe different situations that remind me of myself. The tantrum that turns your face red and you wish the ground would swallow you. The negotiating and compromising with your child so that they won't scream bloody murder. I have been there too. 

Before I had my boys I would say "I'll be damned if my kids ever act crazy in public. My kids will know better." I think back to those days a lot. Boy was I young and naive. Truth is kids don't know better. They are kids. I've read lots of articles that explain what life is like for a toddler. They do feel like their world might end when you say no to them or when you keep them waiting. 

A few weeks ago at the grocery store my 3 year old (then about a week or two shy of 3) asked for some candy. I told him that he needed to be patient while mommy shopped and that if he was he could get some candy. He immediately didn't  like what he heard and threw one of his tantrums. Prior to that he was always very patient at the store. Not sure what snapped on this day, but I wanted to be swallowed alive. People would stare as I attempted to talk him through it almost expecting me to hit my son. I didn't hit him. Although I was embarrassed I let him have his tantrum and told him that because of his behavior he can not have candy. He understood. 

Last week I was checking out an overwhelmed mom. She had her kids in tow and seemed like she could barely concentrate. I asked her how old her kids  were and to my surprise they were as old as mine same exact age difference. We understood each other. We went through similar things. We talked about how rough it is being home all day with them. How grateful we were for bedtime, and also how she was considering returning to work or putting her son in preschool so that she could get some type of a break. We agreed that the kids behave differently apart than together and how family refuses to help out with both. 

Up until that moment i'm sure she felt as alone as I had the past week. I felt defeated. Misunderstood even. Talking to her made me realize that as moms we go through a lot of the same things. We all have days we want to pull our hair out. Our lives are not story book perfect. You're not alone. That mom at the park you're hesitating to speak to also has rough days. She may not show it because she managed to brush her hair today or put on some make up, but you both can relate. We're not alone nor should we feel like we are. We are mothers. Let's stick together!

Tantrums

What is it about being 3? Why do they call it terrible 2's when 3 is when it really gets tough? Why is my 3 year old having such a hard time? Why do I feel like I am screwing everything up? 

Not sure why. Maybe it is his age, but the past week has been so tough on Mase. He throws a tantrum for just about everything. They range from fake crying I just want my way to full blown exhausting himself. I try SO very very hard not to yell at him, but sometimes its so many I want to throw the towel in. I'm convinced my discipline is all screwed up. I have for to be screwing something up. It is such an inner battle to gently parent through these tantrums of his. 

This past week at work I began to observe how other parents deal with their kids tantrums in public. Most parents were red in the face embarrassed and feeling flustered. I've been there. I was there today. What happened? 

I took my sons to the store to buy an item. My youngest was in the stroller, and my oldest needed to walk beside me. He wanted to push his brother, and I told him he needed to wait until we got inside the store because there were cars coming our way. He became very upset and began to throw himself on the ground. I took them back to the car and chose not to go into the store and return home. 

Was that the right choice? Maybe? Maybe not? I don't really know, but I don't know what else I can do. I refuse to hit him and I didn't want to spend the entire time at the store dragging him. He seems to understand the consequences of his actions and quickly goes into the "ok mami" stage. I chose to still not go into the store because that would be like backing out of the consequences he got. 

Once in the car I told him we do not act that way. We can get hurt by throwing ourselves where cars pass by and that he was embarrassing himself with his behavior. He cried and screamed, but eventually settled down. I'm not one for CIO, but man I don't know what else to do. 

Could that have been handled differently? Possibly. I know I'm not alone lots of parents have been here, are here and will be here. My son has become very defiant. Always testing limits. He knows the boundaries, but chooses to attempt to cross them. 

Anyone else?