Because I work at BRU I often interact with a lot of moms with young children. I often am able to observe different situations that remind me of myself. The tantrum that turns your face red and you wish the ground would swallow you. The negotiating and compromising with your child so that they won't scream bloody murder. I have been there too.
Before I had my boys I would say "I'll be damned if my kids ever act crazy in public. My kids will know better." I think back to those days a lot. Boy was I young and naive. Truth is kids don't know better. They are kids. I've read lots of articles that explain what life is like for a toddler. They do feel like their world might end when you say no to them or when you keep them waiting.
A few weeks ago at the grocery store my 3 year old (then about a week or two shy of 3) asked for some candy. I told him that he needed to be patient while mommy shopped and that if he was he could get some candy. He immediately didn't like what he heard and threw one of his tantrums. Prior to that he was always very patient at the store. Not sure what snapped on this day, but I wanted to be swallowed alive. People would stare as I attempted to talk him through it almost expecting me to hit my son. I didn't hit him. Although I was embarrassed I let him have his tantrum and told him that because of his behavior he can not have candy. He understood.
Last week I was checking out an overwhelmed mom. She had her kids in tow and seemed like she could barely concentrate. I asked her how old her kids were and to my surprise they were as old as mine same exact age difference. We understood each other. We went through similar things. We talked about how rough it is being home all day with them. How grateful we were for bedtime, and also how she was considering returning to work or putting her son in preschool so that she could get some type of a break. We agreed that the kids behave differently apart than together and how family refuses to help out with both.
Up until that moment i'm sure she felt as alone as I had the past week. I felt defeated. Misunderstood even. Talking to her made me realize that as moms we go through a lot of the same things. We all have days we want to pull our hair out. Our lives are not story book perfect. You're not alone. That mom at the park you're hesitating to speak to also has rough days. She may not show it because she managed to brush her hair today or put on some make up, but you both can relate. We're not alone nor should we feel like we are. We are mothers. Let's stick together!
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