BWF meet-up Orlando

Where do I begin? This event left me speechless. It was such a healing, liberating experience. It opened my eyes and made me realize that in this crazy journey we women call motherhood I am NOT alone. I was able to see deeper than that tough front us mothers put up. I was even able to open up to complete strangers and felt understood by them. 

This particular graphic takes me back to a couple moments that morning. We listened to Samantha Bice speak on how us mothers seek perfection. We're constantly in a war with ourselves and others over whats the perfect or correct way to parent. Reality is that there is no perfect way...perfect is what works for your family and you. She spoke about how we're so hard on ourselves and we should be happy to celebrate the good things without celebrating yet finding some flaw. She brought so much of the unspoken to light. We're all mothers. We should stick together. 

I was also able to connect with some pretty amazing women. I met Monica who I knew briefly over IG and had spoken to through email before coming down to Florida. I also connected with women from local organizations and some great things will be evolving from that. I of course met THE MRS.BWF January Harshe. I was so star struck. She is such a beautiful soul. Her journey is SO inspiring. I love her. I truly do! My heart holds a special place for her. 

The Earth Mama Angel Baby Harmony Circle was the most emotional. They had us pick random numbers from a basket and we were grouped according to our numbers. Each group had a box of sand with which we would write a word or words describing something holding us back and we would speak about it and then erase...as a sign of letting go. I opened up about my inner most feelings. My mommy guilt and my resentment. I am my biggest critic. Even if I am doing things right I still think I got it all wrong. I wish my births had gone different and wish I could have more children so I could have my healing birth yet I cant because my SO has a vasectomy. I resent him for getting it and myself for not stopping him or at least speaking my feelings. Yet all though I am so hard on myself not one mama there judged me or shamed me. I received nothing but support. 

And so BWF Orlando was so worth it. I am so glad I was able to attend, and I am so happy for the connections I made. 

Damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

Browsing online yesterday I came across an article highlighting points on the struggles of motherhood and how women instead of empowering one another opt for shaming each other. I've always said what works for me doesn't have to work for you, but let me be and I'll do the same. I have over the past months found myself. I have realized the kind of mother I want to be. I know I want to help women feel empowered in her decisions especially parenting ones. 

Often times women are shamed for not breastfeeding or for feeding their child store bought baby food. Arguments such as "you're lazy", "it is what is best" are used. The problem with that is that instead of offering information; the mother is immediately shamed for the things she chooses to do with HER child. Not everyone is able to make their own baby food. Not everyone can breastfeed. I won't get into the reasons behind it, but we all know that not being able to do such things does not make us or break us as a parent. It does not define the love we feel for our child. 

Have you ever said such thing about a mother? Aren't we all on the same journey? Don't we all have things to learn everyday? Days are long and tough. If a mother for example asks on a mommy site a question about formula feeding her child and how its going...why feel the need to say things such as "that's why I will never use formula" "formula is poison". Seriously ladies, why not offer options such as donor milk? Stop the mommy wars. We already live in a society where we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. Let's stick together! Support each other. Offer a hand in rough times. 

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/confessions-unnatural-parent-230400625.html

Mothers Are One of A Kind

I'll start by saying I don't expect anyone to believe in my parenting ways. I am a breastfeeding (wasn't always this way...more about that in a post to come), baby wearing, bed sharing, circumcising, gentle discipline mama. I don't believe in CIO (cry it out) no matter what age a child is. 

I'm not saying if your 10 year old gets reprimanded and cries, go running to him right away. What I mean is, no one likes crying until they are blue in the face from hyperventilating, and to the point of exhaustion. I believe children have feelings just as well as any of us, and should be taken into consideration. 

I VERY hardly yell at my children, and you won't catch me hitting. I'm the mom that will sit down and explain things before having an outburst, but I am by no means perfect. I have yelled, I have walked away, and I have spanked in the heat of the moment. We do stupid things when we're angry. I am doing the best that I can for the situation I am in.

That brings me to the point of this post. WE ARE ALL MOMS! Why do we judge each other? We do what we see best for our children. It does not mean that it is what is best for everyone's. Just because I breastfeed or bed share doesn't mean that Maria down the street will do the same. We do what works for us.

I do not think formula is the devil. My first son was exclusively bottle fed. I never really gave nursing much thought, and now with the baby...well my life isn't perfect he gets formula as well. I somehow still manage to get some breast milk into him because some is better than none, but that's just me.

What I'm getting at is...we all love our children. We nurture. We protect. We love. We teach. Let's unite and support each other. You'd be surprised what a little unification can accomplish! Don't let the fact that Linda only buys organic and Bianca is at McDonald's everyday stray you from supporting them in the one thing we all have in common...we do what we can with what we have, but we love our children like only a mother can.

We are one of a kind mothers to OUR OWN children!