New Direction

If any of you reading this have been following my posts from the start you all know that I started my blog to help me deal with some issues. One of them being my fear of possibly having PPD (post partum depression). That was about 4 months ago. Today I can rest assured that I do not have PPD. However, it is very clear to me that I have major issues with anxiety. It is such an issue that if not dealt with appropriately throughout the day I start to feel as if I have a brick on my chest preventing me from breathing. I went to two therapist sessions seeking help. They both brushed my concerns off unless I agreed to be medicated. Sometimes I still wonder if I will need to be medicated, but I decided to cope with my anxiety naturally in my own way. I wanted to find myself inorder to help me deal with it.

My interest in the natural way of life awakened when my youngest now 9 months old was born. When I became pregnant with him I knew I wanted something different out of that experience . I knew that although I trusted my mom I didnt want her to influence my every decision, and so it all began. I planned to breastfeed until 2 years old, I delayed solids, I research gentle parenting and discipline. I wanted things to change. With that came my interest in natural foods. Organic became something I wanted to try. All I had ever been told was that it was too much money, but never that things were so fresh and rich i  taste. I was brainwashed by society to think that there was no way I could possibly afford clean, healthy meals for my family. 

At first it was only a drink. Slowly, I started cutting out soft drinks, and certain foods. I began to cook differently. I started making my own smoothies to replace meals. I cut out canned goods and replaced them with fresh, frozen and/or homemade. More and more organic products were being purchased and I was staying on budget. I kept researching this way of living I so desire.

So many things are changing. I am growing and taking a new direction in life. I have lost friends over my new path, but the reality is that I am at an age where those things dont matter. At this age you know who will stick around. I have so many plans for the upcoming year. So many things I want to be a part of and projects I want to start. Quite frankly those people who chose to walk away didnt need to be a part of it. 

Next year, I plan on starting training to become a doula. I want to give women the opportunity to make informed decisions on the way they birth and their birth space and to feel empowered by it. I do not want them to allow anyone to shut their instincts out because we know our bodies best. I want to support them in their choices regardless of what those are and I want them to trust in me that I will be there to take care of them. I am a nurturer at heart. With that I also have plans to obtain a lactation consultant license to raise awareness about breastfeeding in the community and provide services to women who cannot afford them. Most importantly with minorities. I am not here to judge. I am not here to say if you breastfeed you're a better mom than she who chose to formula feed. I just want everyone to have as much information as possible on the things they choose to do.

If you had asked me 4 months ago where I wanted to take this blog I would probably have said I just want to vent my feelings. Today I say I can stand by its name...I am going to document my journey! You will still see posts about my family, and I will still brag and rant, but I want to share everything from here on out that is going to happen to take me to where I need to get. 

Every bit of research I have done has changed my view on life. Like I said I am determined to change things. I want to step out of the box for once. You will see recipes I cook up, adventures lots of adventures and I will posts about things I am passionate about. Bare with me as this is a learning experience and I am in for one hell of a ride.

If you're not helping me advance in my journey today I wave you good bye! 👋

Improving Birth

Yesterday to celebrate Labor Day instead of cookouts and swimming, a community of women across the states rallied to raise awareness about how much YOUR birth matters and how things are your ultimate decision. I wish I could have attended one. I am very passionate about  pregnancy and birth. I am a strong believer that a woman's body is capable of many things and that our instincts take us in the right direction.

It has always bothered me the amount of cesareans done in comparison to vaginal birth. How many women are induced for being "past due" on a regular basis. My first son was a 30+ hr labor and and by 20 hours a cesarean was being thrown about. I majorly refused. I stood my ground and told that resident that I knew we could do it. I could push my baby out. I almost went into a trance and focused solely on bringing him earth side. My second son was induced due to my blood pressure issues and me being on medication. He's the one I wanted a home birth on. I have regrets about both births. Being induced is no walk in the park. It is painful. You're more likely to get medication for an induced labor than natural. 

My ob was amazing! She made me comfortable, and having known I was aiming for natural when I begged for the epidural she asked it be given to me at the lowest dose. She kept me well informed and let me do my own thing unlike the first time with an on call ob. 

I do not believe there is a right way to birth. I believe that a woman's birth experience should leave them empowered not traumatized. The birth of your child should be yours and not your doctors or family. You are capable of making the calls. You know your body best and what may work for me, may not work for you. 

I do not think home birth is better than hospital birth or that having a midwife is right over having and ob. However, I think if you're going to have a provider they should make you feel assured not scare you. Why if you hire them are they telling you what to do? A lot of the time a woman's instincts are shut down by a provider's "I know everything, you know nothing attitude!" 

My goal is to help women reconnect with themselves. For women to feel empowered in the decisions they make...not shamed! I want to help women have the birth of their dreams without being shamed by what society deems right. 

I want to improve birth for women. Let them know they have options. Guide them to make informed decisions in their own. YOU can do what you set yourself out to do! YOU matter. YOUR birth matters. YOUR baby matters.