New Direction

If any of you reading this have been following my posts from the start you all know that I started my blog to help me deal with some issues. One of them being my fear of possibly having PPD (post partum depression). That was about 4 months ago. Today I can rest assured that I do not have PPD. However, it is very clear to me that I have major issues with anxiety. It is such an issue that if not dealt with appropriately throughout the day I start to feel as if I have a brick on my chest preventing me from breathing. I went to two therapist sessions seeking help. They both brushed my concerns off unless I agreed to be medicated. Sometimes I still wonder if I will need to be medicated, but I decided to cope with my anxiety naturally in my own way. I wanted to find myself inorder to help me deal with it.

My interest in the natural way of life awakened when my youngest now 9 months old was born. When I became pregnant with him I knew I wanted something different out of that experience . I knew that although I trusted my mom I didnt want her to influence my every decision, and so it all began. I planned to breastfeed until 2 years old, I delayed solids, I research gentle parenting and discipline. I wanted things to change. With that came my interest in natural foods. Organic became something I wanted to try. All I had ever been told was that it was too much money, but never that things were so fresh and rich i  taste. I was brainwashed by society to think that there was no way I could possibly afford clean, healthy meals for my family. 

At first it was only a drink. Slowly, I started cutting out soft drinks, and certain foods. I began to cook differently. I started making my own smoothies to replace meals. I cut out canned goods and replaced them with fresh, frozen and/or homemade. More and more organic products were being purchased and I was staying on budget. I kept researching this way of living I so desire.

So many things are changing. I am growing and taking a new direction in life. I have lost friends over my new path, but the reality is that I am at an age where those things dont matter. At this age you know who will stick around. I have so many plans for the upcoming year. So many things I want to be a part of and projects I want to start. Quite frankly those people who chose to walk away didnt need to be a part of it. 

Next year, I plan on starting training to become a doula. I want to give women the opportunity to make informed decisions on the way they birth and their birth space and to feel empowered by it. I do not want them to allow anyone to shut their instincts out because we know our bodies best. I want to support them in their choices regardless of what those are and I want them to trust in me that I will be there to take care of them. I am a nurturer at heart. With that I also have plans to obtain a lactation consultant license to raise awareness about breastfeeding in the community and provide services to women who cannot afford them. Most importantly with minorities. I am not here to judge. I am not here to say if you breastfeed you're a better mom than she who chose to formula feed. I just want everyone to have as much information as possible on the things they choose to do.

If you had asked me 4 months ago where I wanted to take this blog I would probably have said I just want to vent my feelings. Today I say I can stand by its name...I am going to document my journey! You will still see posts about my family, and I will still brag and rant, but I want to share everything from here on out that is going to happen to take me to where I need to get. 

Every bit of research I have done has changed my view on life. Like I said I am determined to change things. I want to step out of the box for once. You will see recipes I cook up, adventures lots of adventures and I will posts about things I am passionate about. Bare with me as this is a learning experience and I am in for one hell of a ride.

If you're not helping me advance in my journey today I wave you good bye! 👋